A Farewell to Friend

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2014 was the first time in my life that a friend silently slipped off the radar and into friendship oblivion. I guess I can’t really complain. At 33, I was probably due for a big friend fallout. But this wasn’t just a friend; this was a really good friend. This was the kind of friend I spent holidays with when I couldn’t get home to my family. The kind of friend I lovingly referred to as a “sister from another mister.” The kind of friend who was  one of the funnest — and funniest — people I’ve ever known. The kind of friend whose absence hasn’t gone unnoticed. And I’m not gonna lie: it has been both hard and horrible.

In my mind’s version of the story there wasn’t a specific moment where things went wrong. It was more of a slow fizzle. I moved back to Ohio after an extended period of time working out-of-state and we seemed to pick back up where we had left off. A few months later, once eagerly-embraced lunch invites were getting pushed off never to be rescheduled.

At first, I tried to blame it on the age old struggle between Camp Parent and Camp Freebird. I didn’t have any skin in the game when it came to Brownie gossip or ballet recitals. She had obligations and a spouse who presumably frowned on standing Wine Wednesdays. But the reality is that I have many busy parent friends. Despite the seeming differences in lifestyles, when a relationship is important to the people on both sides…you find a middle ground. Each side bends a little. You adapt and find a way.

There have been times over the past few months when I’ve wanted to send my friend a letter. Sometimes I’m curious to know what happened. Sometimes I’m tempted to rant for pages about how disappointed I am. Whenever I start to type, I stop myself. I stop myself because I realize whatever the case or response or reason, I’m writing to a stranger and chasing the ghost of a friendship that has already slipped away.

I recently read a post on this topic, and the author’s words really hit home:

Losing a friend is very much like a break-up, in the sense that any form of interaction that you have with that person in the future will never be the same again. No matter how much either of you try, once you have crossed that line of inescapable complications and incompatibility, everything that you shared with each other will slowly deteriorate, until ultimately letting go is the only option left.

The thing about us is that we are fixers. We are the ‘Bob the Builders’ of our own lives, and it gets pretty devastating once we find ourselves in a position where the answer to “Can we fix it?” is “No, we can’t.”

Perhaps there is a point in certain friendships — a point at which we stop seeing things — and each other — clearly. A point at which we believe ourselves to be patching everything together, but in reality we’re just making a mess of things. As children, it’s easy to know when to call it quits. The summer sun threatens to set, your mother’s voice finds you beckoning to pack it in. Things get slightly more difficult in adulthood. We can eat when we want and the sun no longer tells us what to do and when. There are no rule books or guide maps for this. As grownups, we’re the captains of our own sailing and sinking ships. Sometimes we surface to find ourselves the lone survivor of something we once believed invincible. Sometimes we’re left standing on a shore of silent wreckage, clutching memories as the sole surviving souvenirs of a one-time forever friend.

I miss you friend. I hope your heart is happy. 

 

 

Local Spotlight: DareDevil Dogs

Credit | Columbus Dispatch

Credit | Columbus Dispatch

To support the DareDevil Dogs Kickstarter campaign, click here

Over the last couple weeks, I have gotten to know the good guys behind DareDevil Dogs. From their hot dogs to their literal dogs (Puppies on the Patio, anyone?) it’s clear they are a Columbus gem. When I learned that the guys are hoping to expand their reach and take their yums beyond 270, I knew their Kickstarter campaign was something I wanted to support.

Don’t get me wrong, I love venturing into the loop for wine and weekends, but I also realize that it’s not that simple for everyone who lives beyond the belt. Which is what makes the Daredevil Dogs Kickstarter so great. Instead of expecting everyone in town to come to them, they’re eager to take that Columbus culinary creativity to the masses by way of food truck.

I did a quick Q&A with Tomos Mughan, one of the owners of DareDevil Dogs. Check out his responses and then go throw them a bone or five or twenty to score yourself a really cool t-shirt, a lifetime of free sides or an invite to their exclusive Kickstarter event.

Tell me a little bit about the history of Daredevil Dogs?
DareDevil Dogs was started by three friends William Garland, Mike Gadd and myself. We thought up the concept when we all worked together at a restaurant. We spent a lot of long hours brainstorming and working on the concept before deciding to make the jump. We spent six months working on the space, ironing out our concept and getting the restaurant ready before opening on November 21st of 2014.

What is your philosophy on food?
We all love food and we want that love to show in the food we serve. We believe you have to start with great ingredients to make great food. That’s why we try to source everything locally whenever possible. All of our dogs/brats are all Ohio Proud meat, our buns are baked locally at Matt’s Bakery in Bexley and we make all of our toppings in house. We also sous vide (a cooking technique using vacuum sealed bags and temperature-controlled water baths) our brats, as well as as the steak that goes on the Stunt Double. Sous Vide isn’t a cooking technique you would normally find in a hot dog shop, but we go the extra step because we believe it makes the best product.

Why hot dogs?
We all love hot dogs and we wanted a place where you could get great Ohio products in a delicious hot dog. We wanted to have hot dogs that not only catered to traditional hot dog lovers, but also people who wanted to be adventurous with their hot dogs.

What sets you apart from other restaurants in central Ohio?
Columbus has a great restaurant scene that has been very supportive of us. What we think makes DareDevil Dogs different is our commitment to the guest experience. DareDevil Dogs is about more then just great food, its about great food in a fun atmosphere that you can enjoy with your friends and family.

Why did you decide Columbus was the right place/community to start your business?
We have all spent most of our lives in Columbus. We want to be a part of the thriving local economy that exists in Columbus. We love how supportive everyone is of all things local and we couldn’t be happier with where we opened up!

There are a lot of initiatives trying to woo outer belt residents into the city. Your food truck approach specifically mentions taking the inner belt experience to outer belt residents. Why do you feel that is important?
We have so many restrictions on our current space. The restaurant is tiny, we have very limited parking and traffic in the area can be tough. We want people all over central Ohio to be able to experience DareDevil Dogs. We want our food to be a part of as many communities as possible, not just the Short North and Campus community.

If your Kickstarter is funded, how do you envision having a food truck will impact your business?
It will definitely be a lot more work for Bill, Mike and I! We think it will be great for DareDevil Dogs. We believe in our product so the more hands we get our hot dogs in the better.

What is one thing you wish people knew about Daredevil Dogs?
That we have vegetarian and gluten free options. We love serving Ohio Proud meats, but we also pride ourselves on our vegan hot dog, which is a pinto bean-based dog made locally by The Good Frank. We also offer gluten free buns for people with a gluten intolerance.

In a perfect world, what does Daredevil Dogs look like five years from now?
We just want to continue to grow with the community. The more we grow, the more we are able to give back. Helping us get our food truck not only will create jobs, but also allows us to give more to civic causes. We want as many people to experience DareDevil Dogs as possible and we operate with that goal in mind. So who knows exactly where we will be, but hopefully we are still making people happy with great food.

Describe your perfect Saturday in Columbus?
I am sure Bill would say a day off to spend with his new Wife. For me, it would involve something outdoors during the day, maybe Hocking Hills or pick up soccer. A great dinner with friends on the Patio at Basi Italia and drinks at Curio to end the night.

>>>To support the DareDevil Dogs Kickstarter campaign, click here. <<<

daredevil dogs

I received no compensation for this post. I just really like this brand and want to see them succeed in reaching their goal! 

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